people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
