I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
