I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
