Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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