haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You made out with two different species that night
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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