did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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