she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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