I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
