What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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