i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
