which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
