even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize