I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
