Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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