I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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