yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
