you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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