remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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