no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
