he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
