I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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