Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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