ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
