the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You're like the curious george of whores
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
