talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
