I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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