Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
