The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
