I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
