he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
