Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
whose parrot is this?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize