im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize