What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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