take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
