I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
