More tranny stories later!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
