I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
