if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
