Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
