i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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