Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
