college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
