he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
