4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
