Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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