he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
