just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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