Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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