Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
third nipple confirmed
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
