Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
