I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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