i permit you to call me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
