Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
