Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
