return my video game
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You're like the curious george of whores
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
