So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
kristin has been a bad kristin
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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