I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
