so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
